My daughter sent me a blog from a friend of her's who is on a weight loss journey as well. It was an inspiration to me. Got me to thinking I should do it too. Maybe it will help someone or maybe it will just help me, I don't know.
I can't tell you how many times in the past 25 years I have tried to lose weight. Its a never ending battle. I have tried just about all the popular diets out there, I can say I haven't done any crazy ones like the grapefruit diet or having my jaws wired shut or having beads put in my ears.... What I can tell you is that whatever diet I was on worked for me, I can lose weight, what I haven't got is what my husband says"self discipline" - he's right. I think I'm a thin person living in a fat girls body! I eat what I want, thinking I won't gain weight, I'm actually thin, right? NOT!! I fool myself (or try) thinking I don't really look like this, there is NO way I could have gotten this heavy! At times I'm acutally surprised when I look in the mirror and see this other person, that isn't me! I would never let myself look like that...what a joke! That's exactly what I did and why? That's the ultimate question, I'd like someone to stand up and tell me how this happen, any takers!?!? Why?? I like food stupid (stupid being me!), I use food for comfort, for boredom, when I'm tired or angry. An emotional eater. I have found that through the course of time, I can't eat if I'm really stressed and upset.
But who wants to stay stressed and upset all the time?!? What a heck of a way to lose weight!
In this blog I will be talking about my everyday struggles, how I cope, how I get through it, my goals, givng recipes from time to time. Telling you what I eat each day. For me - that is accountability - which is what I need. I have been free eating for so long, that I hate it. I need accountability, not excuses. Old habits are hard to break but it can be done. I hope you will get some help from me, I hope to become self disciplined, I hope to become thin and feel good about myself, become healthy and get off the medication that keeps my sorry behind alive because I like to eat! This blog is about total honesty, there will be no beating around the bush, no lying, just total honesty. I hope you will follow me on my journey, I know there will be times when it will be a bumpy ride, it will be smooth sailing at times, never the less, it will be a journey and it won't be a short one, I didn't get this heavy over night and it will take a while to get it off...so here it goes!
Goal #1 - Eat right for one day
That sounds too easy doesn't it? Its not, not when you are use to eating what you want when you want with no thought of the consequence's! Eating until you are so full you want to throw up, eating until you have that full feeling, knowing only then you are satisfied. So eating a "normal" portion isn't enough, I don't "feel full" I don't feel "satisfied" I want more, but that's how I got here...so this morning I had:
1 whole egg, 3 egg whites
1 slice of wheat toast with butter (all the way to the end, my family knows what that means!)
1 cup of milk
An hour later, guess what? I'm hungry! I sat there and thought now what? Its my first day, 1st meal and already I want to louse it up! I thought what can I do to make me feel full but not really be full....ummm... I know! A diet coke! So that's where I'm at. It takes that hungry feeling away when I know I'm not hungry. But along with that I need to drink water, which is hard for me to do. Not to drink water but to drink the amount I should in a days time.
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