Today I started water aerobics, what fun that is. I love the pool!! It is so hot here, 112 today and getting in that water was heaven!!
I went to see an chiropractor today, told me my hips were out by 2 inches. That woman used brut force to get those suckers where they belong! Hurt like crap! I think its going to help my knee though that and doing the water aerobics, already my knee feels better, not great but better. I hope it continues on. I don't want to have to have surgery again!
Anyway, I realized that exercising in the water is so much easier and you don't sweat! Amazing....
All in all it was a good day. Not much else to say.....
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Scared to admit...
I haven't wrote on here in a while because I was scared to admit I was failing. I thought what was the sense of writing about weight loss when I wasn't doing it. I was just going along day to day eating what I wanted hoping like hell I wasn't gaining, afraid to get on the scale to find out. Then I get a call from my husband who was reading my blog and wanted to know why I hadn't wrote in a while. I told him I felt like a hypocrite, how could I write about losing weight when I was failing miserably? He said this was for my own peace of mind and to help me mentally. I guess if no one reads this then its okay, its more for my benefit and to see my highs and my lows and how I cope.
I sat here 3 mornings ago at the kitchen table bawling my eyes out. I am so ashamed of what I look like, absolutely ashamed...so ashamed and embarrassed of how I look that I won't even see a friend of mine that I haven't seen in forever. I guess she is coming here to where I live and wants to see me, I haven't even answered her message. Anyway, I sat at the table bawling my eyes out, praying asking Heavenly Father to give me peace if I'm going to get this weight off, or at least a lot of it this year. I said a few more things, ended my prayer and then immediately stopped crying and was in a much better mood! I guess that was my answer. I was going to get a lot off. I know I have to do my part and when I do, then he'll do his. I literally battle each day NOT to over eat and to eat the right things or at least have portion control on the things that aren't what I should have.
Last night my husband wanted Chinese, I went and got fried rice and chicken on a stick! I didn't take much rice, thought the chicken would be better for me, so I ate it, all of it. Then I drank a ton of water and took my pills for the night. I immediately got ill. I was in the bathroom trying to throw up. I had so much water in me, it literally made me ill.
Right now I am NOT a weight loss success story, I am a woman trying hard to lose weight, there are days I win the battle and there are days I don't. I'll try not to be so ashamed of failing and write anyway, it won't be easy but I will try.
I sat here 3 mornings ago at the kitchen table bawling my eyes out. I am so ashamed of what I look like, absolutely ashamed...so ashamed and embarrassed of how I look that I won't even see a friend of mine that I haven't seen in forever. I guess she is coming here to where I live and wants to see me, I haven't even answered her message. Anyway, I sat at the table bawling my eyes out, praying asking Heavenly Father to give me peace if I'm going to get this weight off, or at least a lot of it this year. I said a few more things, ended my prayer and then immediately stopped crying and was in a much better mood! I guess that was my answer. I was going to get a lot off. I know I have to do my part and when I do, then he'll do his. I literally battle each day NOT to over eat and to eat the right things or at least have portion control on the things that aren't what I should have.
Last night my husband wanted Chinese, I went and got fried rice and chicken on a stick! I didn't take much rice, thought the chicken would be better for me, so I ate it, all of it. Then I drank a ton of water and took my pills for the night. I immediately got ill. I was in the bathroom trying to throw up. I had so much water in me, it literally made me ill.
Right now I am NOT a weight loss success story, I am a woman trying hard to lose weight, there are days I win the battle and there are days I don't. I'll try not to be so ashamed of failing and write anyway, it won't be easy but I will try.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Good intentions....
Funny how good intentions go to hell....I couldn't believe that I, ME....let me say that again bigger "ME" wanted to go to the gym yesterday. I couldn't believe that I
"WANTED" to sweat!! I hate, hate, hate sweating....but I knew that when I exercise that sweating means you are working it off, that the fat is trying to come off. I had only planned on staying on the treadmill 15 minutes since I am just starting this exercise routine but I was listening to Brooks and Dunn and just kept walking. I lasted 20 minutes like Bill (Body for Life) says you should.
For breakfast I had a protein drink, then I exercised about 3 hours later, then came home and had 3 pieces of old fried chicken (breast, leg, wing) and a cup of crystal lite, for dinner I went and got Chinese fried rice and some chicken.
That's what I mean about good intentions, I started out good, went to hell in a hand bag as the day wore on. That's okay, at least I exercised, for that I am proud of myself and wanting to was even better. I guess prayer does work! What am I talking about?!?! I KNOW prayer works, that's why I do it. I have been asking Heavenly Father to help me change my attitude about exercising and really like it. I guess that's happening, I'm glad it happened so fast! I just need to keep asking.
Today is weight day....I guess I'll do upper body since I can't do lower. My arms are still sore from two days ago when I smoked them. Anyway....have a great day.
"WANTED" to sweat!! I hate, hate, hate sweating....but I knew that when I exercise that sweating means you are working it off, that the fat is trying to come off. I had only planned on staying on the treadmill 15 minutes since I am just starting this exercise routine but I was listening to Brooks and Dunn and just kept walking. I lasted 20 minutes like Bill (Body for Life) says you should.
For breakfast I had a protein drink, then I exercised about 3 hours later, then came home and had 3 pieces of old fried chicken (breast, leg, wing) and a cup of crystal lite, for dinner I went and got Chinese fried rice and some chicken.
That's what I mean about good intentions, I started out good, went to hell in a hand bag as the day wore on. That's okay, at least I exercised, for that I am proud of myself and wanting to was even better. I guess prayer does work! What am I talking about?!?! I KNOW prayer works, that's why I do it. I have been asking Heavenly Father to help me change my attitude about exercising and really like it. I guess that's happening, I'm glad it happened so fast! I just need to keep asking.
Today is weight day....I guess I'll do upper body since I can't do lower. My arms are still sore from two days ago when I smoked them. Anyway....have a great day.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
First day
Okay, I finally got down to brass tacks yesterday. I did weights, upper body. Boy I smoked my arms!! After I was done, my arms shook for at least 10 minutes!! Holy cow, today they are sore but I'll live.
Today I go to the gym and do cardio for 15-20 minutes. I need to call Bill Phillips (Body for Life) website and see what I do about lower body weights. I had surgery on my knee a year ago but the doctor says I'm not allowed to kneel, crawl, stoop or squat and I can't carry, push or pull anything over 20 pounds, so I think I'm kind of screwed. I thought if I called them they could give me some advice or tell me to talk to my doctor which in this case is a Workman's comp doctor. We'll see..
Anyway...here's what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup oatmeal
3/4 cup milk
1 bagel with some butter
Mid Morning Snack: 2 pieces of string cheese
Lunch: some left over roast (which wasn't much)
some left over potatoes and carrots
No Mid afternoon snack
Dinner: 1 turkey burger
2 pieces of wheat bread
salad
low fat ranch dressing
Evening snack: small bag of m&m's - blew it there...
Evenings are hard for me but a small bag of m&m's isn't horrible
I am excited (what a minute ..... did I just say excited?!?!?!) to get to the gym today. I want to have buff arms and shoulders like my husband. That man looks good....
Okay that's it for today. Will tell you tomorrow how today goes.
Today I go to the gym and do cardio for 15-20 minutes. I need to call Bill Phillips (Body for Life) website and see what I do about lower body weights. I had surgery on my knee a year ago but the doctor says I'm not allowed to kneel, crawl, stoop or squat and I can't carry, push or pull anything over 20 pounds, so I think I'm kind of screwed. I thought if I called them they could give me some advice or tell me to talk to my doctor which in this case is a Workman's comp doctor. We'll see..
Anyway...here's what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup oatmeal
3/4 cup milk
1 bagel with some butter
Mid Morning Snack: 2 pieces of string cheese
Lunch: some left over roast (which wasn't much)
some left over potatoes and carrots
No Mid afternoon snack
Dinner: 1 turkey burger
2 pieces of wheat bread
salad
low fat ranch dressing
Evening snack: small bag of m&m's - blew it there...
Evenings are hard for me but a small bag of m&m's isn't horrible
I am excited (what a minute ..... did I just say excited?!?!?!) to get to the gym today. I want to have buff arms and shoulders like my husband. That man looks good....
Okay that's it for today. Will tell you tomorrow how today goes.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Today it begins
I've been thinking about it and thinking about it and I decided that today is the day to start weights and doing cardio like Bill says in his book "Body for Life" I have weights here that my husband bought me a long time ago and I will to arms today. Tomorrow its to the gym and getting on the treadmill.
My plan is to pray hard that I will LOVE working out and seeing results quickly to help me keep it up. I hate sweating but my husband tells me that sweating is good that it means you are losing fat. I also need to work out on an empty stomach. Bill Phillips says in his book that when you work out on an empty stomach that your body has to grab energy from somewhere so it will get it from the fat stored in your body, where as if you ate then worked out its just grabbing it from the food instead. Bill also says that you shouldn't do cardio any longer then 20 Min's. He says the low intensity workout for a long period of time does nothing for you. He tells you how to do the 20 min cardio so you can lose weight. He also says to write down all your goals. On his website he has charts you can fill out to keep track of your work out. He isn't all about losing weight fast, he's about doing it right, eating right, exercising right and doing it for life. It really is a good program and a wonderful book. You should get it. They aren't paying me for saying anything about his book, I just believe in it.
Bill tells this story about this woman who is in her 80's - 90's(?) and she's in a wheel chair and she started working his program and there is a picture of her "standing" in a work out outfit! Amazing!!
So wish me luck!! Here's how the plan works:
1. Drink at least 10 cups of water a day
2. 6 small meals a day - every 2-3 hours
3. 20 min cardio every other day
4. Weights the oppisite days of cardio (when doing weights you are working on diff parts of your body each time, i.e. arms, back, legs, shoulders and so on)
5. Take a before picture
6. In 4 weeks take another picture and do that every 4 weeks.
7. In 12 weeks access where I'm at with a final picture. I will post these pictures as I go.
8. Do it all over again until the weight is gone. (this will take a long time)
My plan is to pray hard that I will LOVE working out and seeing results quickly to help me keep it up. I hate sweating but my husband tells me that sweating is good that it means you are losing fat. I also need to work out on an empty stomach. Bill Phillips says in his book that when you work out on an empty stomach that your body has to grab energy from somewhere so it will get it from the fat stored in your body, where as if you ate then worked out its just grabbing it from the food instead. Bill also says that you shouldn't do cardio any longer then 20 Min's. He says the low intensity workout for a long period of time does nothing for you. He tells you how to do the 20 min cardio so you can lose weight. He also says to write down all your goals. On his website he has charts you can fill out to keep track of your work out. He isn't all about losing weight fast, he's about doing it right, eating right, exercising right and doing it for life. It really is a good program and a wonderful book. You should get it. They aren't paying me for saying anything about his book, I just believe in it.
Bill tells this story about this woman who is in her 80's - 90's(?) and she's in a wheel chair and she started working his program and there is a picture of her "standing" in a work out outfit! Amazing!!
So wish me luck!! Here's how the plan works:
1. Drink at least 10 cups of water a day
2. 6 small meals a day - every 2-3 hours
3. 20 min cardio every other day
4. Weights the oppisite days of cardio (when doing weights you are working on diff parts of your body each time, i.e. arms, back, legs, shoulders and so on)
5. Take a before picture
6. In 4 weeks take another picture and do that every 4 weeks.
7. In 12 weeks access where I'm at with a final picture. I will post these pictures as I go.
8. Do it all over again until the weight is gone. (this will take a long time)
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Making better decisions...
Several things have happened in my family that are all good excuses to over eat....NOT...but its done anyway. My daughter and son-in-law just took their oldest to Utah to go to school. I can't believe that in a month this granddaughter of mine will be 19. I swear just yesterday she was 4 months old! Anyway....they asked if I would watch their youngest (he's 6) while they took the oldest. We meet them at McDonald's to pick him up and say good bye to her. I cried when they left, it felt like my own leaving the nest and I hated it then. While my little grandson was here, he's all about his grandpa. He loves that man. For the most part we had a good time with him. He was only here from Sunday thru Thursday without them. They showed up Thursday to take him home. I HATE it when my daughter leaves, I get depressed, cry and I'm usually like that for days. Guess what I do during those days of depression?!?! You guessed it....I over eat. I have to fill that void somehow. Hell I can't deal with the feelings, that hurts too bad. This time was no exception. I over ate yesterday ... but today I'm not going to do it. Something interesting happened while my daughter was here. We had gone to Walmart so they could pick up a couple things and her and her husband got candy bars. On the way home she offered me some, twice. I refused. I really didn't want any. Later her and I were sitting at my kitchen table and I was crying about how miserable I am looking like this and not having any self control. She said something interesting to me. She said, "Mom, do you have self control, I offered you a candy bar twice and both times you refused." Never thought of it that way...NEVER! She's right, I guess I do have self control.
So yesterday I started my usual eating and at some point I said out loud to no one but me, "enough already, no more!" and amazingly enough, I didn't eat anymore. I fixed bbq chicken for dinner and that's it. After dinner I have NOTHING....now that doesn't sound like much to others but for me, that's good!
So here's the plan for today:
Breakfast: a bowl of cereal and a bagel
Lunch: a salad with veggies in it and low fat ranch dressing
Dinner: chicken or turkey and veggies
If I want a snack I will either have ONE piece of string cheese and an apple, a quarter of a cantaloupe or a protein drink and lots of water today. I will let you know tomorrow how this works out.
Later....
So yesterday I started my usual eating and at some point I said out loud to no one but me, "enough already, no more!" and amazingly enough, I didn't eat anymore. I fixed bbq chicken for dinner and that's it. After dinner I have NOTHING....now that doesn't sound like much to others but for me, that's good!
So here's the plan for today:
Breakfast: a bowl of cereal and a bagel
Lunch: a salad with veggies in it and low fat ranch dressing
Dinner: chicken or turkey and veggies
If I want a snack I will either have ONE piece of string cheese and an apple, a quarter of a cantaloupe or a protein drink and lots of water today. I will let you know tomorrow how this works out.
Later....
Monday, June 20, 2011
Having to get control..
Over eaters don't know the word "stop!" Its a terrible addiction to have. When you are a drug addict or you turn to alcohol or even pills you CAN give them up. But food....not so much! You have to eat everyday of your life and not once a day either. Its a constant battle of what do I eat, how much do I eat and on and on. When you are an over eater, at times for me, it seems there is never enough. Thank goodness I don't do that all the time, just every once in a while. Never the less, I over eat "something" to look like this and of course not exercising doesn't help.
I had my husband buy fruit, not junk for me. Then my little grandson came to stay with us for about a week. I, of course, want to spoil him and I bought all the stuff he likes, pop tarts, breakfast bars, ice cream, mac and cheese, spaghettio's and whatever else he likes. He's 6 years old and of course he doesn't eat like I do! I ask him if he's hungry, nope. I honestly wish I had the stomach of a 6 year old...anyway, I can already see me rationalize eating some of the stuff I got for him...."he'll never eat all of this, one won't hurt" HONESTLY....what the hell am I thinking?!?! No maybe 'ONE' won't hurt but who are we kidding, can I honestly stop at one???
I noticed last night, that I was eating one thing after another. String cheese (2 of those), an ice sandwich, a little bag of m&m's, some cantaloupe. See what I mean?? I feel like I have no control. I honestly have to tell myself to STOP for cryin' out loud!! Holy crap you aren't hungry you are bored, just deal with it and go on....gees....
Dr Phil says we hang on to whatever is going on in our life because it works for us. I like it when he says "how's that working for you?" its not!! I saw last night where he helped Fergie break through to what is wrong with her, she wants approval. I want to know what makes me over eat. What is it that I keep hanging onto to stay like this? Is it one thing in my life that made me like this or is it many things all rolled into one?
I wish I could figure it out....
Hopefully you will be able to figure out what demons you have in your life to stop doing what you are doing. I hope and pray the same thing for me. My best friend told me she use to pray and ask for her mind to be healed. I need to ask for the same thing.
Later....
I had my husband buy fruit, not junk for me. Then my little grandson came to stay with us for about a week. I, of course, want to spoil him and I bought all the stuff he likes, pop tarts, breakfast bars, ice cream, mac and cheese, spaghettio's and whatever else he likes. He's 6 years old and of course he doesn't eat like I do! I ask him if he's hungry, nope. I honestly wish I had the stomach of a 6 year old...anyway, I can already see me rationalize eating some of the stuff I got for him...."he'll never eat all of this, one won't hurt" HONESTLY....what the hell am I thinking?!?! No maybe 'ONE' won't hurt but who are we kidding, can I honestly stop at one???
I noticed last night, that I was eating one thing after another. String cheese (2 of those), an ice sandwich, a little bag of m&m's, some cantaloupe. See what I mean?? I feel like I have no control. I honestly have to tell myself to STOP for cryin' out loud!! Holy crap you aren't hungry you are bored, just deal with it and go on....gees....
Dr Phil says we hang on to whatever is going on in our life because it works for us. I like it when he says "how's that working for you?" its not!! I saw last night where he helped Fergie break through to what is wrong with her, she wants approval. I want to know what makes me over eat. What is it that I keep hanging onto to stay like this? Is it one thing in my life that made me like this or is it many things all rolled into one?
I wish I could figure it out....
Hopefully you will be able to figure out what demons you have in your life to stop doing what you are doing. I hope and pray the same thing for me. My best friend told me she use to pray and ask for her mind to be healed. I need to ask for the same thing.
Later....
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)